Turbulence

I got no reason to cry, but i did it anyway. And i think i'm depressed. But like i said, there ain't no reason at all. So maybe i'm just looking for random reasons to justify that i'm depressed. I'm not. I'm just bored. And a bit lost (my definition of lost, don't decipher it your way). And much more, but not depressed. I just can't understand life, but sometimes i think that i do too well, while at the same time i realize that i don't, but because i really want to, i try too hard to understand everything, and it's just fricking frustrating. 

I need to rest. But every time i got the time to rest, i'd be (over)thinking what would i have to do after i'm done resting, which only made me restless.

I need to recharge. But idk what would i do to recharge myself, and what's the point of recharging, if you don't really have a clue what you'll do after you're fully charged. I guess i don't really trust that "we'll figure things out along the way" stuff. But anyway, it's simply because i don't trust almost everything in life. Like i don't even trust myself. God i'm so helpless lol

#imjustboreditssaturday

LET'S SEE HOW RANDOM I CAN BE

So here's the thing (let's just forget the fact that i haven't posted in forever and now i calmly act like nothing happens bcs seriously tho, nothing happens!) i'm 23 now. Oh shoot, privacy! Shouldn't have said that, but meh... the internet knows it all so whatever. And i'm gonna be 24 soon in March, there you go, my zodiac is pisces right right (no, i don't take that zodiac thing seriously...i'm just bored, as i've always been). So far you can see that i really have nothing to say... i'm just... bored...like i said. 

Anyway, how much do you think the internet knows about you?

It's fricking annoying when you search your name on google and you can see all your social media accounts pop up like privacy is just a meaningless word exists in Oxford dictionary to make it looks a bit more sophisticated. To make matter worse, when you see the accounts that you created long looong ago - when you were so stupidly optimistic that one day you gonna marry that random pop star you once worshiped solemnly like the ancient Greek worshiped Zeus - and no matter how much you want to terminate that stupid account you just can't because you forget all the information required to log back in, so you just hold your breath, and read through everything while cursing and calming yourself down at the same time. USELESS. IM TALKING ABOUT MY OLD TWITTER ACCOUNT pft 

Let's just forget about the internet thing because it's scary. Seriously. But hold on, is there a single person on earth who can control the internet. I'm talking about control as in FULL CONTROL, not just FULL ACCESS. Maybe there is (are?). Which makes it scarier. But i don't know which one is scarier, that no one can fully control the internet - which means this technology advancement is getting way ahead of human civilization (well, it's interconnected actually, maybe i put it wrong but you know what i mean) - or there are people who can fully control the internet. Personally i think the later is the scarier. Simply because i don't trust humans. But i can't say that the first option is less scary.

FINE. LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT.

Here's the thing (am i repeating myself? don't blame me...i don't write with draft or even outline), it's 2021 now. And the COVID-19 pandemic is still roaring loudly, taking souls every minute every day. And also, there are natural disasters; flood, volcanos, earthquakes, etc etc like universe, what the fuck bro! Are you bored tooo, just like me?

Okay let's just drop it. Talking about what's happening right now in this world makes me like a hypocrite hermit because seriously tho, i don't care (or maybe i just try not to care too much).

Maybe i should put this in the trash and go back to the phone instead because i have 999+ unread messages on WhatsApp to respond to. Not to brag, it's not something to be proud of. Elon Musk probably has only less than 10 unread messages on his WhatsApp right now and obviously his bank account is way more .... (fill in the blank) than mine. That 999+ only shows how pathetic i am. Because i'm bored. And i have a truck load of texts waiting to be replied. It's like standing in the crowd and feeling lonely AF. Okay maybe i'm exaggerating but that's kinda what i feel.

Hpufftt like someone would understand..duhh... I know there're lots of people out there standing in my shoes, but i mean, at this particular moment, writing all this down is kinda stupid. Because what do you expect? What do i expect? Right...spending time. I'm waiting for my beauty mask to dry and that's it. TIME'S UP!

flnmcpojmw;io9isnsmcfrpwmricks4mncrmcpwrkmcri34urjcmnap;rkfqnmmd,f;afknms;cmnjf

(that's not a secret code for a secret vault...i'm just bored) 

Anyway why do they make this computer keyboard arrangement like this? I mean not alphabetically (the numbers are from 1 - 10, in its perfect order), but qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm? Who came up with this idea?

Okay i really need to stop this...the mask needs to be peeled off geeezz

Mangrove Forest - and green water paranoia

Sooooooo

Now you see how moody I am. I was so excited to write a blog when I first created this undoubtedly-unimportant blog two years ago (i reread my first post and really...really... i wanna throw up).

But theeeeeeen, after two posts, my excitement seemed to crawl out of my body and soul somehow, so this undoubtedly-pathetic blog was left uncared (this blog has the same fate with the flowers that i ever planted). A year after I gave birth to this blog, I came back with a story about a crazy monkey, then I disappeared again for almost a year. 

I'm writing this now because of (no, my excitement hasn't crawled back) being motivated.

So recently I love to watch motivational and inspirational videos on youtube (coz i thought i was so unmotivated that i might end up commit suicide once my parents stop funding me) and i came across a video, there's a middle-aged woman (crap! i forgot her name) talking about 'window' and stuff. She said everyone has 5 seconds to transform knowledge into action. Within these five seconds, the window that allows us to jump from knowledge to action is open. Take a quick move! OR your motivation will go into waste. This concept has successfully made me wake up early for the past three days (Do i hear clapping? :D) Whenever i feel like waking up, i just jump out of bed, NO SNOOZING.

This morning, I was reading a fiction book of Paulo Coelho entitled  The Winner Stands Alone (have you read this? mind to share your review? okay nevermind) and after I finished a chapter, my mood started to crawl somewhere, so i started to think about doing something else. BLOG! Yes... I have a blog (3 blogs honestly) and I completely forgot about it for awhile. Should I write a post? Should I? About what? and my mind was like telling me, 'okay i open a window for u to jump in five, four, three...' so i was like, Fine I'll do it!

So here I am! Fully motivated yet don't know what to write about... LoL

(after i typed LoL, i opened my photo gallery looking for some inspiration and i suddenly knew what to share. That's when i changed the tittle of this post from 'crap... just write!' to 'Mangrove Forest'.)

During the process of writing my thesis, i took quite a lot of trips to some places nearby that i had never visited before. I know it's ridiculous. I mean, even in vacation, i don't usually go anywhere. I love my bed, my pillow, my books, my pc, everything about my room and the smell of it. But when i was writing my thesis, my brain kept shouting the holy chant 'trip! trip! trip! go out! go out! out!

So every other day (maybe everyday), after I submitted the after-revised thesis to the supervisor, i went out with my partner in trip. I guess i refered to her on the previous post as BBF. We're no longer BBF (I guess), coz now i'm quite close to her other protective bestfriends. They'r incredibly nice actually- with different n unique personality. I'll talk about them on next post.

One of the place that we visited was Mangrove Forest. It's not really far from my house, less then an hour ride. I'd never been there before though it isn't far. 

Mangrove Forest is a quite popular destination in NTT actually. I've seen lots of my friends posted their photos on facebook in this place.

To be there and breathe the fresh air was way greater than seeing the beauty of it through others' shot. 

It's beautiful! Soooo nature! 

We walked on the wooden bridge, surrounded by mangrove everywhere, bellow the bridge was kinda-green-water... Pardon my lame description. 

I mean, the bridge starts from the seashore to the sea... but as long as you can see the mangroves, the water is green until you're no longer see the green leaves and only the ocean, that's when you'll have the clear vision of the blue sea, blue sky, and the high mountain on the other side of the sea.

There're some water cottages you can use to take a rest before continue walking along the bridge. (I dont know since when i change the personal pronoun from I/we to you... God, i so suck at this).

So here are some pics of me... I hope the pics can give you a clearer view about Mangrove Forest 😁

See the water? I was actually a bit paranoid by the water. What if there're crocodiles down there? What if my phone fall down? and lots of What ifs... ikr

Now you know why there're lots pics of me. I have my own photographer ^_^

The one acting like going to fly with the help of a jacket is my lil sister.

Though there's an unpaid-photographer, selfie must go on ^_^

My version of  Yoga LoL

Now this is the end of the long bridge. Some kids jump down the sea to swim around. Legends don't swim LMFAO

 

So that's it! Hope you enjoy the tour (and my junk thought) and let's hope that i'll stay motivated to write the next post soon (and i i hope i don't give a new definition of 'soon').  

Let's stay inspired and motivated!